The Secret to Better Vacations with Teens

Every holiday season I try to share some ideas for managing devices over vacation. This year I thought I’d do something a little bit different. I’ve been thinking a lot about travel with my boys now that they are older versus the concerns I had traveling with little kids. Traveling with teens and tweens comes with its own challenges and knowing how to prepare yourself ahead of time can make the difference between a stressful trip full of fights and disappointments or a trip where everyone gets some of what they enjoy. 

Enter my friend Mary Beth Swerdloff - family travel expert! Mary Beth and her family are avid world travelers and she is an amazing go-to expert on how to travel with teens. Based on all her experience Mary Beth recently launched Better Travel with Teens - a space to share her tips, tricks and mindset shifts that have transformed travel for her and her family. 

I just love her ideas - they are simple and practical, so before vacation started I wanted to take a moment to share some of her thoughts with you.  I hope you enjoy and definitely go check out her on IG @bettertravelwithteens

What are some of the unexpected benefits of traveling with older kids?

Traveling with each age group comes with its own set of challenges and joys. What were once simple, parent-led adventures with younger kids now require more intention and planning to engage your teen. It's crucial to recognize your child's changing needs in the tween and teen years as they often crave more independence and control.

Rather than booking activities for them, try involving your teen in the planning process. Encourage them to take a more active role in selecting excursions and give them a say in how the family spends their time together.

When your teen willingly chooses to participate in an activity, it can be a powerful moment. Embrace these moments, have fun together, and enjoy the journey. Traveling with teens can be a fantastic way to create lasting family memories. 

An added bonus to traveling with teens – they can pack and carry their own luggage! Traveling with small children is exhausting, pushing strollers and lugging around heavy bags. With teenagers, this becomes a thing of the past.

What have you found are the main pain points that parents seem to experience when they travel with teenagers?

Screen time is a big one. It can feel disappointing as parents when you’re looking to spend quality time together and you’re met with TikToks and texts. You’re not alone if your teenager’s screentime doesn’t decrease just because you travel to a cool place on vacation. I don’t think it’s realistic to eliminate devices altogether (at least not in our family) and managing screen time can be challenging too. It’s about striking a balance between digital and IRL connections.

How can parents handle a teenager who is just not buying in to the itinerary (eg. does not want to go for a hike, hates sightseeing, finds the plan boring etc.)?

I wish I had a magic wand for this one. We’ve been there and it’s tough. Sometimes you just have to meet teenagers where they are. We learned this one the hard way. One summer we traveled to Mexico and were excited to explore the Mayan ruins. Needless to say, forcing a teenager to wake up early for an excursion didn’t end well. We dragged our teens to Tulum and regretted every moment of it. They were hot, cranky, and miserable to be around. My lesson learned was signing up for a tour that left at the crack of dawn - teenagers like to and sometimes need the extra sleep during a break from busy school, sports, and activities. In hindsight, I wish I had spent less time stressing over them not wanting to join activities and focused more on the moments they were engaged. My son loved the resort gym and enjoyed evening workouts in the AC, then happily joined us for late night meals and conversation.  

What if you have more than one teenager and they have very different interests when it comes to travel - how do you bridge that gap? 

I’ve found it helpful to reset my expectation of what family time looks like. In the past, I was disappointed when I couldn’t get the entire family to rally around the same activity. But it makes sense, teenagers don’t necessarily enjoy the same activities. I get it. On our recent trip to Maui, we tried something new and it was a success. My daughter was resisting an outing to the local pineapple plantation for a tour. Instead of insisting she join the rest of the family, we decided she could stay back at the condo (we felt comfortable with her safety and security there). My son was on board and we ventured out as a family of three. It was a real treat for us both to give him our full attention and we  had a fun afternoon together as a trio. Later in the week my son asked to opt-out of an activity, we agreed and were able to create special time snorkeling with our daughter. The added bonus was not dealing with any sibling quarrels! 

What are your thoughts on teens bringing a friend on a vacation? Is there specific etiquette around who pays for what or is this really based on each individual’s financial circumstances?

In the past, we’ve said no to bringing friends. I was a little protective of our vacation time and unsure how it would affect the family dynamic. But this past summer we decided to give it a shot. Including my son’s best friend on our beach vacation not only made him happier but also enriched the entire vacation experience. The boys happily joined us for group meals (and helped clean up!), played football on the beach with the younger cousins, and included my daughter in sunset swims to the floating dock. It’s not a stretch to say it was a vacation game changer!

I think the key is just to be clear about what’s included in the invite. We offered to cover accommodations, food, and activities. We had rented a multi-family house and adding one more wasn’t an added expense. We agreed that my son’s friend would purchase his own flight and pay for any shopping/souvenirs. This worked well. But what I learned is that families don’t all travel the same! We’re a carry-on only crew with TSA precheck. Next time, I’ll be sure to mention that in advance. 

What are your top tips for parents to keep in mind for keeping their teens engaged and satisfied?

Not unlike traveling with younger children, keeping teenagers rested and well fed helps with their overall attitude. There was a short time when I thought I was done carrying food for little ones, but I’ve started throwing snacks in my purse again. Beef jerky or peanut M&Ms can be a lifesaver, but more often than not overpriced airport food is the only thing they want. Oh, and pack extra chargers for on-the go! A teenager with a dead phone is difficult to get out of a hotel room. 

Lastly, how do you manage the phones? Are there rules you set up in advance so that they’re not on there 24/7 or do you just let it be what it is?

I try to respect my teenager’s need to stay in touch with their friends and habit of scrolling on social media for entertainment. Managing screen time is tough, so I try to find ways to engage them using their phones. They are tech-savvy, so take advantage of their skills and get them involved in the journey. My teenagers are responsible for having their boarding pass downloaded and ready. I assign them tasks like finding the quickest driving route, the trending food truck, or best place to buy souvenirs. I might even be guilty of leaving my phone behind and asking them to take pictures and videos for me. Also, I try to find a few activities where they need to put down their phones to participate, like go-karting or jet-skiing. We do our best at screen-free family meals, but we’re not perfect. 

Learn more about Mary Beth, get great recommendations and read her block at : https://linktr.ee/BetterTravelwithTeens