When Your Tween is Obsessed With Her "Skin Care Regimen"

As many of you know, I’m a mom of boys, so the recent multi step beauty regimen trend that has swept the nation for tween girls almost went right over my head. In the work I do as a Digital Wellness Educator I interface with many parents and in the past 3-4 months I have fielded an inordinate number of questions about daughters becoming obsessed with anti-aging and complexion perfecting regimens. According to a recent Good Morning America segment on the subject #tweenskincare has 49.5 million views!

I knew about the makeup tutorials and the toxic stranglehold they have on many young girls and women, but this regimen was news to me. To be clear, we’re talking about many girls who are prepubescent - basically their naturally perfect skin is the gold standard for the rest of us - so why are they messing with it!? You guessed it - social media.

I can totally understand why having a little skin care routine would be fun, and who doesn’t love buying skin care in cute packaging? But, this trend is worrying for a few reasons and I’d like to get into that here (make sure to read all the way to the bottom for a useful link on skin care tips for tween girls).

#1. These tween skin care regimens may actually harm your daughter’s skin

Older women ( like us!) often use various potions with vitamin c, retinol and other exfoliants to achieve a “youthful glow. In addition we may use a cleanser, toner, moisturizer and maybe an occasional mask. Our older skin can handle much of this and still it needs to be done carefully and with some knowledge to prevent damage to your skin. 

So what’s the difference with young girls using this stuff? I reached out to my friend, Dr. Mira Stotland, a dermatologist in Los Angeles and here’s what she had to say, 

“The main ingredients in these products tend to be a mixture of retinol or other exfoliants and fragrances.  Retinol and other exfoliants can significantly dry the skin out and when used inappropriately or in an inappropriate age group, cause irritation and damage to the skin barrier. Ultimately this much irritation will cause a rash and ironically more breakouts. Our skin barrier acts to protect our skin so inadvertent damage to the barrier will render skin less able to protect us from environmental pollution, infection, and UV radiation.“

So ironically, the regimen young girls are doing to make their skin more beautiful may in the end result in short and long term problems - not good.

#2. The skin care products being shown on social media are SO expensive!

At the moment the 1 brand all girls are dying for is Drunk Elephant, a luxury brand that is sold at Sephora and online. If there is one thing that drives me crazy about social media and kids (and adults?) is how it brainwashes them into feeling they need to spend a ton of money in order to be on trend. I know this is not new and we dealt with our own versions of this when we were growing up, but the sheer number of videos promoting the same “must haves” can make girls feel legitimate FOMO for not taking part. Once you add up the cost of these 12 step regimens we are talking several hundred dollars - and they’ll probably want to buy them 2- 3 times per year! Where else could that money have gone?

#3. The effect of skin care obsession on self-esteem and distorted self-image

To me this is the most worrisome aspect. While I like the fact that at its core the trend is about taking care of oneself, it has been so co-opted by beauty influencers that it starts to fall into the same category as beauty tricks and tips, makeup tutorials and diet. The fundamental message is ’ you are not enough as you are. If you want to be prettier than you need to do these things.’ As a female in this society it is impossible to not be influenced by this messaging no matter how confident you are, but as a kid you are particularly vulnerable. Starting this young, thinking you need to fix what you’ve got, can only set girls up for more and more self-criticism as they get older.

So I asked Dr. Stotland what girls this age should be doing to take care of their skin. Her answer?

“All kids need is a gentle cleanser, a moisturizer and sunscreen. That’s it.”

Since I am no expert on skin care I want to throw you to a great segment from Good Morning America featuring Dr. Whitney Bowe where she goes through her recommendations for skin care and how to use products properly!

I wish you and your daughters clean, hydrated and sun safe skin!